“I’m really hurting. My Mom is dying.”
What if we start speaking our truth? Give our authentic feelings a voice.
It breaks down a defensive barrier for us. And also for others.
Since I’ve been putting down my armour of niceties and stopped prioritizing other people’s comfort, I’ve felt genuine connection.
This is risky for a sensitive empath like me. One of my reoccurring nightmares is that at my Mom’s funeral, I can hardly bare the pain of seeing pained faces of loved ones staring back at my pain. I don’t want to inflict pain or discomfort on anyone.
But this guise of comfort is a façade covering a beautiful, vulnerable, living, feeling, connection of the human experience.
Since my reply to “how are you?” has changed, from “doing ok” and quickly deflecting to “how are you”, to a genuine “I’m hurting. My Mom is dying”, I have received the most beautiful exchanges.
I’ve witnessed fear & discomfort and we mutually held space for our capacity to feel that.
My Mum, my family, has received more prayers.
I’ve been enlightened with advice from survivors of intense loss and grief.
I’ve received gratitude for the opportunity for others to reminisce and speak out loud about their departed loved one.
I’ve been commended for my courage, my honesty, my vulnerability, and what I hope that means is that I’ve inspired others to start giving their authentic feelings a voice.
This pretending we’re all comfortable and rushing & deflecting through “fine” is not honouring our precious human experience or connection.
The other 2 things this being honest has done for me is:
1- lessened my grief. See, I believe that grief is a whole whack of emotions. It’s sadness, surely. And love! But it’s also a mucky tangled mess of guilt, anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, nostalgia… It’s a lot. When you share it, you untangle the hold it has on you a tiny bit because you realize the other person doesn’t become suffocatingly tangled up in it like you. You recognize a tiny spark of salvation.
2- release a block I’ve had in my throat chakra. See, we are energetic beings. I’m having this issue where the hearing in my left ear comes and goes. No medical test has shown any issue, nor any intervention helped. In the Sound & Reiki session at Zen House with @kasamawellnes
s and @eschenckonline I felt like liquid crystals were lifting away from the side of my neck. Emily’s Reiki intuition was that I wasn’t speaking my truth out loud.
Sound is medicine and none more powerful than the resonant vibration of our own voice.
When someone asks you “How are you?” it’s an invitation for you to connect inward to feel how you are, AND for you to connect momentarily or more deeply to the person asking.
Yoga means connection. Our yoga practice extends off the mat too.
This giving voice to our authentic feelings works equally well for high vibration emotions too. Speak your joy, your celebrations, your love into sound. Allow others the gift to rejoice with you.
Dear Human Friends, we are all more alike than different.
Connect with your authentic feelings.
As you give them a voice, you will connect with other authentic beings.
Together we will be reminded that this human experience is a limited time blessing of joy and pain and we will enhearten each other through it.
Grief is so messy and yet you simplify it like only an educator of small children could. You are a light in this world Mel, even when you, yourself feel only darkness around you. You are a beacon of love, light, hope, peace and all things Zen to anyone who has had the blessing of meeting . ❤️